Thursday 7 August 2014

Old pieces

 
 
 

Old pieces of memories

Stacked in the corners of my brain

Haunt my wicked aura

At first glance

 

Each new day they never cease to make me wander off They trigger unwanted mood swings And sway my life in unwanted directions Bended knees are a symbol known to the dead Lifted hands belong to Christians' praise I for one am cracked by old pieces

 

New to you because you do not know me

Fresh in their scent because you let them Rejected by my being because it knows it all too well

 

Stricken by a longing to belong

Bitten by the need to be more than just

Yet they remain

Old pieces

 

Stacked across the border of his study room Safely tucked away in his pocket Placed under the sheets on a rainy summer night Thrown into the deep edges of trauma Spit out like venom unrelentlessly Licked like the last glimpse of a stray cat's fur

 

Old pieces

New to the unknown

Unforgiving to the forgotten

Riding on the thread of the haunted

 

Old pieces

Spiced with lies so sweet one can't help it but run towards them Speeding through the forest in a quest to bury the hatchet Drowned in poison to numb its effect Ridiculed by its hold on me

 

Old pieces

Haunt

Humor

Humble me
 
 
The future belongs to the artist
 
Love
 
Phoenix

Thursday 12 June 2014

#tHAbO THE bLACKrOSE

The Silent Stars

peeking at the moon's eyes
Perked at the river's tip
Lay there like packs of sheep

The Silent Stars
Pickled from their being
Pressed into the sea's reflection
Spit out obsession

The Silent Stars
aligned to their destiny
arise to their calling
Leaving me null and void
defeated in my quest to find
why the stars were silent

The silent stars
I am too loud to remember
I am too resilient to be quiet
Too reserved to be silent

The silent stars
Never allow them to engulf them
with your beauty
Its their inability to leave your
memory that keeps them silent
Its in their warm sparkle that
lends them to the mind's terror

the silent stars
xx
#ThaBo

Tenacious Phoenix Songs


Friday 23 May 2014

Love Beyond February Sessions

Love Beyond Feb Sessions are where all lovers of literature, music, fashion, poetry, coffee, conversation and the vastness of art converge.

Friday 25 April 2014

Appreciating the lot I have

I did not get this cute little chap's name but what I can tell you is that my eyes swell up with tears every time I see this picture. He lives in a place filled with tiny stones because of the mountainous nature of the place. He has been walking to school bare footed for only God knows how long.

I learned not to ever take anyone or anything for granted; I did not think of anyone not having shoes because to me it is a necessity and not a basic need. Now I know that there really is a need for a lot of things out there. Do not worry our cute baby boy has new school uniform and shoes courtesy of some government departments. This is not a political article, I am merely realising my own ignorance, and thanking God for all I have.

Abba thank you for EVERYTHING I have. Here is to me doing my bit to help society realise all they have. Modimo o siame mo go nna ka dinako tsotlhe. Blessed and restful long weekend my lasses and lads.

From the heart

The future belongs to the artist

Tenacious Phoenix Songs

Caro-On-The-Grind 

Wednesday 23 April 2014

Stumbled

Picture taken by Kelvin. 
I stumbled across her smile in the blocks of my memory
It echoed a sweet smell of roses and colored scents of blue
I spit her out as my muse, and lent her to my Praise

I heard her smile echo through the cracks of my pain
As my heart bled towards humility's gaze
I searched for his comfort but found his heart instead

She stood there in all her splendor
Echoed her blues and gave  me a rhythm of Ren
I am left in awe of a life well lived

I left with a Good Friday beyond the norms
Echoes of her smile crack through the memoirs of my brain

Cracks of her smile spit pain into my heart as I long to lay on his bosom
Echoes alight, echoes aside, echoes in deep
My memory fails to crack through the echoes of her voice

The cracks left in my brain spit unearthed memories of days untold
In awe I bid farewell to a live I have never lived
A land I will never know
And a pain I never want to cross pollinate with

One day is one day
One day too soon
One day too little
One day not to be known
One day not to be seen
One day is one day

The hope of a bright day begins the pain of a laden yesterday
The strength of my daily bread is evident in my thoughts
The honesty of my words is found in gossip I heard about me
The love in my eyes is found in the pain of a broken hearted girl's sorrow

I am Caroline Boitumelo Masonganye and I speak from the heart

The future belongs to the artist- Caroline

Caro-On-The-Grind

FIRST NOTE FAMILY

FIRST NOTE FAMILY'S LOGO

FIRST NOTE FAMILY'S MEN

FIRST NOTE FAMILY'S LADIES

Madness is always the order of the day 

Fun is the main ingredient 

*We are family* 

*A family that prays and sings together: stays together* 

The two craziest men in the whole lot 

The main man : Moholo Timon 

Clifford's hand on a man's waist #SHRUGSSHOULDERS 

Duke trying to be all cool #Hmmh 

Duke broke the poor church's entire drum set #Imagine 

Clifford told him not to do it but oh! well he did it anyway. #Halala

Chillas tyd all up in this place 

Amandlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa




From the heart

The future belongs to the artist

Tenacious Phoenix Songs

Courtesy of Caro-On-The-Grind 

Wednesday 16 April 2014

Thoughts

Picture taken by Mfanaka Yaku-Zembe. <3 
I have always had more boyfriends than I did girlfriends (not in the bisexual kind of way, but hey who cares) Anyways that is a story for tomorrow.

I am constantly having heart to heart conversations with a man who is so real in his quest to answer my questions, he leaves me dumbfounded. I do not have to pretend to like something or lie about something for him to catch my drift. It feels as if I am talking to myself in the male form. It has been an interesting journey.

I have picked up a few things in this interesting journey: not every guy is a dog, and in as much I want a good man, I need to be good too. I learned that men have dreams like we do, and that fairy tale we want they want it too. I am not talking about the over dramatic Cinderella who loses her shoe.

No! I am writing about Caroline who likes long hand written love letters, small email notes, long chats on whatsapp, and yes! random phone calls. I am trying to explain  a man who will not be afraid to tell you that the biggest secret is that there is  no secret after you have just spilt the beans.

I am texting about the guy who does not stay up late to talk to you but stays up because he is a fellow insomniac who wants to text with you. I am referring to the mid day conversations that only existed in my dreams.

I am texting about the realness of realising that good men not only exist but they are right in front of you. I have always had a well written description of my perfect partner, and the older I got he more I added to the list. Well! God has taught me that looks, skills, and a hot body can only do so much.

I deserve an intelligent man who is wise enough to make God his everything. A man who will not think twice before he does good for those he loves and cares about. A man who is rooted in learning about love, life and the artistry of its profoundness.

Do not worry! I am  not making a new list I just realised how the good things in life are free, and how they have been staring me in the eye, as I journeyed to *look for the one*. I stopped being a hunter, and lay my weapons down. It feels good to have people talk to you because they want to, and not because you head hunted their poor old butts and lured them in.

It is safe to say that I have re-found all the precious gems that have always been standing right in front of me; awaiting my embrace. I am almost similar to the prodigal son returning home to his dad, but the thing with me is that I never left. I just kept my self busy with nothing, really.

Here I am pouring my heart out to you my Caro-On-the-grind lover and follower and friend. Allow my roaming heart and sorrowed eye to take this opportunity to thank you for loving Caroline, and for being a part of her life. THANK YOU! KE A LEBOGA! NA KHENSA! BAIE DANKIE! NDI NOTENDA! INKOMO! NDIYA BULELA! KE A LEBOHA!

I am looking forward to those love letters, and those visits to the gallery (Graffiti on walls), walks to the park (Winterveldt bushes), and picnics under my grand-parents' Marula tree, and visiting random restaurants to rate their food and service, here is to laughing my ATM (African Trade Mark) off, to dancing in the rain just after having had a new hairstyle, here's to crying in your arms over nothing, here's to being nobody else but me. Thank you for taking the time out to read my heart out.

From the heart

The future belongs to the artist

Tenacious Phoenix Songs

Caro-On-The-Grind

15-04-14 (Do not ask.) hahahaha 

Tuesday 15 April 2014

Thank You

05-10-91: 15-04-14                                    



I was introduced to God or should I say Christianity the minute I was able to utter the words; 'mama' and I have clung to Him ever since. We all have our fair share of the battles:we faced while growing up,so let me not bore you with the details of mine.

My relationship with God changed on 27-07-13 when my mother passed away. I did not know what to say to God, and for sometime I prayed ritually: you know the usual thank you for your protection kind of prayer? Yes! That one and  it seemed fair to me to do that.

I just really could not begin to understand why and how He would just up and take my mommy from me like that. My loved ones are always there to wipe my tears when I randomly burst into tears because of the pain of missing my mommy.

What they have not realised is how I am just tired of all of this pain. I prayed to God and asked Him to take it all away, and let me tell you this; there is a huge amount of progress. Do not get me wrong:it still hurts,but God is with me in it. He holds me close to His chest and gently wipes my tears.

My relationship with Him is rock solid; when I get mad at Him; He always, always finds His servants to share with me what He has in store for me, or wants me to remember, know and do.

It has not been easy, and I promise you that it will not get any easier than it already is but you know what; it is well with my soul (Ria). Bottling my emotions makes me ill:I have learnt this the hard way; so from now on;going forward I vow to write my heart out and leave it on my sleeve.

 I am one opinionated human being who is not afraid to speak from her heart. I live to be different because I know not how to be anything else but that which I am. I have learnt to express my emotions without the fear of being judged or what not. 

Here is Christ in me, the hope of glory.

From the Heart

Tenacious Phoenix Songs 

Caro-On-The-Grind



Monday 14 April 2014

I am weird

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT 



I am Caroline Boitumelo Masonganye also known as Tenacious Phoenix Songs and I have always been different; I grew up thin and tall. I never understood why and then I grew a pair of boobs and some curves, with a butt to compliment them. The transition was very difficult for me : from a size 28 to 34 at the blink of an eye was no child's play. 

I felt big and did not love myself. The older I grew, the taller and curvier I got ; life was rough. I had one or two crushes but nothing serious. I never thought that another human being would look at me differently and love me as I was.

There were people in my life who always told me that I was beautiful but it fell on deaf ears; I was not about that life. One beautiful soul told me one day to wake up and say ; "I am beautiful, loved and blessed."I idolized her so I did it just to please her but over time it sank in. My aunt gave me a verse and it said "You are fearfully and wonderfully made."

Over time I learnt to appreciate my body with all its strengths and weaknesses: it has not been easy but it has been worth it. A lot of people are on my case about how I should be a model, but truth be told : I am not ready but, you just wait and see.

I love taking pictures of other people, but I do have those days were I feel like I am the prettiest girl in the world, and are in need of grand pictures, and other days I feel rather out of it, and well on most days I am just Caroline. The greatest part of being Caroline is how weird and different she is and how that will never change.

for one I love the smell of coffee but I am not so taken on drinking it like Blue does (tongue out). I love fashion and my favorite color is black and purple(royalty). I love black nail polish and no! I am not Gothic. I am just merrily different. 

I have learnt that writing true experiences gives me inner peace. I am a night owl and a sold out insomniac unless work strains me hard or I do not sleep for a good number of days. Enough about me, I love beautiful things and people.

I am a bad judge of character but I can discern auras( please do not ask me how) above all I am my Abba's princess and He loves me to bits. 

Oh! Yes and if you want to sweep me off my feet hand written love letters will do, a bunch of flowers, a warm hug, and a nice chat over Cran Berry Juice and Red Velvet Cake (Fam Vibes). 

By now my brain pauses for a minute and ask me what happened to "Enough about me" Hahahaha I am that random

Much love to you from a girl who believes that the future belongs to the artist.

From the heart

Tenacious Phoenix Songs 

Caro-On-The-Grind 

Wednesday 2 April 2014

The gathering of the Lesibians



N.B: Lesibians is derived from Lesiba Secondary School were the author of the article, Mr Lulamile Sifuba and his friends mentioned in the article below  graduated.

 
 

THE GATHERING OF LESIBIANS.

 
 
Aticia Mdhluli and Naledi Molo.
Article written by: Mr Lulamile Sifuba
 
It was a windy Saturday afternoon I was coming from a dear friend's funeral – tired and a bit cold.


I wasn’t sure whether to have a few drinks of merlot wine with Bafana or take a nap but ultimately I decided to take a nap not because I’m a miser but I respect the art of wine;  we didn’t pair the wine with  chicken, hard cheese nor red meat.
 

Before I took a nap I checked my Facebook newsfeed and I saw Valerie Nkosi’s status “Innocent Ndlovu….I still cannot believe you are gone”  I didn’t pay much attention to the status, because in her status she also checked in, at Lekazi which is in Mpumalanga.


I thought she went to Mpumalanga to bury one of her colleagues whom she was supposed to have fun with her on that very same Saturday.  Since I was tired I dozed off, I woke up and few hours later, and I went to my Facebook again, and I refreshed it to get the latest statuses, there I saw Bafana and two other friends who commented on Valerie’s status and I pressed the comment button to see the ‘two other friends’: to my surprise I saw more than ‘two other friends’, viz.: Palesa Sithebe, Simangele Nyamakazi, Sylvia Vandala, Aticia Mdhluli; to mention but the few.

I was bothered because all these people who commented on this status are people I graduated with at Lesiba Secondary School. I saw how all these comments perfectly described Innocent but my mind remained in denial, it kept on saying “it’s not her” until few minutes later when Musa Madikana called me and said “Ntanga, did you hear that Moe the model has passed away?” because of disbelief my mind carried out every possible description to make sure that we are talking about the same person and all of Musa’s answers were “yes, that one”

I was dumbfounded. I wanted to go back to sleep again but then I had exhausted all my sleep from my early nap, all I could do was go through Moe’s  Facebook pictures and gaze at  the collage of beauty that is no more - its undeniable Moe was very beautiful – the class of 2004 not only  has engineers, teachers, authors, pastors, and accountants to boast about but it also had a model to add onto the list, which I, whom I believe we are still going to boast about  , I personally stand on the notion that the class of  2004 Lesiba graduates are a unique badge.

For quite a good number of people, too many emotions let loose during the week, I suppose, but for now allow me to fast forward to Saturday morning to Innocent ‘Moe’ Ndlovu’s funeral. The funeral service was supposed to start at 7:00 am. If like me, you are nocturnal and slow: you don’t like autumn breeze – 7:00 am is too early because you have to sacrifice your sleep but then as a pastor and a friend I had to be in a service on time,  my friend, Bafana, and I went there together and I could see the hurt in his eyes but I chose to turn a blind. ‘we will poke our emotions after we have laid Moe to her ‘last bed’’ I thought to myself.

We got to Moe’s place a few minutes late but the service had not yet commenced. As pastors, we assumed that maybe there aren’t too many people on the programme and that meant the service will start at 8:00 am and guess what? Our prediction was correct. (As pastors we know the game *laughs*)

At 8:00 am the service commenced and we went to the tent, as the programme continues, we see Lesibians flooding in, Bafana whispered to me “Mara ntanga sesibadala” that is an IsiZulu  way of saying “we are grown up”. I’m not sure who Bafana saw that made him to reverberate those words and I concurred with him by saying “yeah”. The service continued until it was time for the pastor to preach, and to be honest with you that pastor didn’t serve the purpose, instead he was campaigning for ANC and boasting about his erroneous theology – he gave Moe an undignified funeral. I wish was the one preaching at Moe’s funeral, of course with my ‘accomplice’ in Christ; Bafana Mboweni.

Enough about politics, we went to Phumlani cemetery and to our surprise the grave was full of water, probably from last night’s rain but the soil was dry (dear reader please don’t develop a myth around the story) it was rain. Ten litre buckets were organized to extract water from the grave and within a fraction of a minute the water had been extracted; all thanks to the industrious men who did a great job within a split second. I could see Valerie and Nthabi crying, my view was opaque, I really hope my facts about Vee and Nthabi are true.

Palesa and Naledi passed us by and stood next to us. I loved that ‘vintageous’ black blazer with gold details that Naledi wore and how can I forget the maroon dress that Palesa was wearing? Yeah, these girls are still beautiful and they have great fashion sense. Then came Aticia to stand next to me, yes!  Bafana and I were sandwiched by a bevy of beauty. I couldn’t resist the fruity smell; fastidiously it was a smell of bushels of apples. I couldn’t behave myself, I found myself asking Aticia:"what’s the name of the cologne you wearing?" Meanwhile in the ‘background’ the mourners were singing ‘baba wam’ ngibambe ngingashi emlilweni’. She told me the name of her cologne and I forgot it but I console myself with DKNY Apple, because it smells the same as her cologne. Don’t ask me why I’m so concerned with female’s colognes, dresses and blazers…

We went back home for refreshments and I couldn’t wait to recap and hear their stories and while we were on the queue; there came Nombuso Sibeko; trust you me, for many it was difficult to identify her because she had gained weight and her persona was far from exuberance, I remember how, while we were enjoying our refreshments Palesa hysterically asked ‘u-Nombuso lo?’ and we were all like “khan’ umbona manje?”  And we all burst into laughter; harmoniously.

We began to recap and some have expressed how others behave, these ‘others’ behave like we never graduated together back in 2004 at Lesiba but Nthabi with her tongue thrusting speech gave us simple advise which was “F**& everyone who rides a high horse”


I was surprised to find out that some had been buried a long time ago.  The most exciting part is that some have kids, some are still single and most are married, and most of this connubial bliss is within the Lesibians themselves, Bafana being the only exception.  Maybe the single ones also want their connubial bliss to come from Lesiba. Lesiba seems to produces weds more than it produces academia, which is not a bad thing at all.

In short I enjoyed meeting you all guys, and I know that Valerie wasn’t happy about the ones who didn’t make it to Moe’s funeral without having sent through an apology.  Next time I hope we will meet each other at someone’s wedding. Bafana and I will officiate the wedding – we are hardcore pastors like that.  I don’t know if you guys noticed, Bafana and I were the only males…oh no! Kenny was also there, how can I forget that? And Valerie before I forget, Lloyd Manqaba sent his apology. It was good hearing Valerie’s voice, seeing the silhouette of Palesa's body, the firm decision making Aticia, that beautiful wedding ring on Nomsa Ngomane’s finger, Nombuso’s humility, Naledi’s flamboyancy and Nthabi’s free spirit, our only wish was to see Moe’s craziness as she was our purpose of gathering but I’m sure she’s happy because we paid her a perfect tribute – may her soul rest in peace.

 

May God bless you all in your future endeavours.

"One of the liberating truths is when you realise that its not innate for women to be subordinate" - Lulamile Sifuba.

From the heart

The future belongs to the artist- Caroline

Tenacious Phoenix Songs

Caro-on-the-grind  

 

Our first featured Author

Caro-On-The-Grind has for the first time since its inception allowed another author to publish their work on our blog. This is an exciting time for us, before we publish the man's work here is a bit of information about him. Ladies and gentlemen we present to you Mr Lulamile Sifuba.
 
 
About the author.

Caroline M with Lulamile Sifuba.
Who is (YOU)?

Lulamile Sifuba
 

How old are you?

26 years old.
 
 
When did the writing begin?

In 2004 but I never nurtured it, until the inception of Facebook.
 

When you are not writing, what do you do?

I listen to music, listen to sermons, read, indulge on delicacies and chill with friends.


What are your superpowers?

I'm observant, I'm a thinker and I have a good memory.


Your grand plan to take over the world is…?

If you look at the media industry, you'll notice that most songsters/songstress come from the church, which by far is what the church has managed to produce - musicians. As a pastor I want to bring evolution, particularly between religion(ministry) and arts.


Who/what inspires you?

Nature inspires me. Pastor JX Nzo, Masingita Masiya, Galileo Galilei - succinctly, anyone who introduced evolution to the world.


Any random thing you want to tell us?

I have a beautiful handwriting


Favourite writer/s?

E. W. Kenyon, Masingita Masiya, Jim Palmer, Francois Du Toit, W. Paul Young.


Favourite book/s?

The Shack, New Creation Realities, Home Before February, Wide Open Spaces, Divine Embrace.


How do you translate your passion?

I don't have a fixed way of translating my passion – most of the time I leave that to casual observers.


What kind of books do you want to read?

I want to read books that will express the honesty of a human heart or human emotion.


Where can we find you on social networks?

Facebook: Lulamile Luzga Sifuba

Twitter: @LulamileSifuba

Google+: Lulamile Sifuba


Do you believe in the power of Oros?

Never heard of it.
 
 
Information provided by Masingita Masiya with regards to Epigraph

Are you already fulfilling your life’s purpose, and what is it?
 
Partially, yes. Writing Epigraph is part of my life purpose - in a few days time I can proudly say "I'm a published author". Also, being a minister is purpose-fulfilling for me – seeing people’s lives being transformed for the better and knowing that you were an instrument to the transformation of those people is priceless.

 
 
 
From the heart
 
The future belongs to artists- Caroline
 
Tenacious Phoenix Songs
 
 
 

Friday 28 March 2014

Brown sugar

Cape Town


Brown sugar


Taste its scent

Echoing through ranches of forbidden fruit

Steadily marching towards its domain

I lay there
 

Stained by arrows of no blood shot wounds

Carried accross the Jordan river through the sky’s blossom era

I found him

Untamed and elevated
 

Brown sugar


Bitter to the core

Unfamiliar in its smell

Unknown for its opulence

I lie to you
 

Light years and decades blurred

Undefined in their sober appeal

Centuries remain in awe

Of the world unknown to its call

 

Brown sugar

 
"The future belongs to the artists."`~ Caroline

From the heart

Tenacious Phoenix Songs
 

Monday 17 March 2014

That Caro-on-the-grind type of picturery art. #Caro-Diction

I am a traveller at heart and I will never stop using every opportunity given to me by the Almighty to see the beauty He has made
Cape Town is really beautiful.

I could not help myself: I had to take this shot.
 

Paintings will always have a very special place in my heart.
 

I found this painting as I walked up the stairs to my room at the Gregorian Hotel in Melkbosstrand, Cape Town. If you did not know: White Arum Lillies are my favourite flowers of all time. They remind me of my house, and mommy.
 

                     A painting I found on the wall, I cannot remember where though. #Hides


                                                                      

I had to take a picture of the scenery as I took a walk to buy some pizza for dinner.

Leggings for comfort #check black masantas (twanging) #check white beach sand #check



Annie, Khutjo and I.
 

                                               Golf at Atlantis Beach: all day, everyday.
                                                                        
                                                                  

                                                 I am still a book worm.

                                                           


I have a thing for Chandeliers hey.
 
 
                                                                               
 
 
 
 These three pictures have found a special place in my heart
 
 

 
 A little bit of playing around with the camera has never killed anyone.
 
 
 

 
                                                        Sieve through and through

The future belongs to the artist

From the heart

Caroline Tenacious Phoenix Songs

Caro-on-the-grind owns copyright to these pictures