The hardest thing to do as a human being is to love again after your heart has been crushed and your fingers have been burnt. I generally enjoy being single, I feel as though I am giving the best years of my life to myself. I have seen how relationships consume a person because of all the things that have to be done.
I cannot begin to say I understand why we are raised to think that marriage is the ultimate dream, as though beyond it there is nothing.
Who says we can't study, travel and dream big beyond marriage? Who ever placed a high pedestal on marriage needs to unwind it. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying we should not get married, all I am saying is that independence goes a long way. Ambition and dreams to build an empire beyond your husband and kids keeps the fire in your life as an individual alive.
We can't afford to lose our individual traits and aspirations because bae is here, if anything bae and I ought to have the same vision so as to work towards that goal. I ought to have my own dreams too and chase them without feeling as if I am outshining bae or anything of that nature. The adequate beast within needs to be unleashed beyond having a baby, beyond unemployment, beyond marriage and most definitely beyond having a bae.
I know I always share my opinions neh but I just feel like we need to have these conversations. Our little sisters and brothers need to have dreams, goals and aspirations beyond dating the coolest girl/boy at school, varsity, church etc.
We need to raise a generation that is aware of its individualism first, and then we can talk about bae and all we can aspire to reach. I got my fingers burnt for camouflaging my dreams into a joint venture in a relationship, I could not even speak when he was wrong because I was his cushion. Always there to Sis Dolly his life instead of telling him like it is, I let him define me. When he left? I was a mess because what I had moulded myself into had packed up and left, things were stale, with no growth whatsoever. I lost my greatest trait: my instinct in the relationship because I felt as though I had to dim my light and let him shine, that almost killed me.
There ought to be a balance between you, me and us. We have to come to the realisation that relationships do not complete us, all they do is compliment who and what we are. The minute we feel like our other half completes us, go nale mathata. What will be of you when they die or leave you? And were you incomplete before they came into your life? But how?
All I am trying to say is that in as much as we want to unconditionally love people, let that unconditional love begin at home. I was actually going to talk about learning how to love after all the pain you have been through but my head has a mind of its own
With all my love
B
I cannot begin to say I understand why we are raised to think that marriage is the ultimate dream, as though beyond it there is nothing.
Who says we can't study, travel and dream big beyond marriage? Who ever placed a high pedestal on marriage needs to unwind it. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying we should not get married, all I am saying is that independence goes a long way. Ambition and dreams to build an empire beyond your husband and kids keeps the fire in your life as an individual alive.
We can't afford to lose our individual traits and aspirations because bae is here, if anything bae and I ought to have the same vision so as to work towards that goal. I ought to have my own dreams too and chase them without feeling as if I am outshining bae or anything of that nature. The adequate beast within needs to be unleashed beyond having a baby, beyond unemployment, beyond marriage and most definitely beyond having a bae.
I know I always share my opinions neh but I just feel like we need to have these conversations. Our little sisters and brothers need to have dreams, goals and aspirations beyond dating the coolest girl/boy at school, varsity, church etc.
We need to raise a generation that is aware of its individualism first, and then we can talk about bae and all we can aspire to reach. I got my fingers burnt for camouflaging my dreams into a joint venture in a relationship, I could not even speak when he was wrong because I was his cushion. Always there to Sis Dolly his life instead of telling him like it is, I let him define me. When he left? I was a mess because what I had moulded myself into had packed up and left, things were stale, with no growth whatsoever. I lost my greatest trait: my instinct in the relationship because I felt as though I had to dim my light and let him shine, that almost killed me.
There ought to be a balance between you, me and us. We have to come to the realisation that relationships do not complete us, all they do is compliment who and what we are. The minute we feel like our other half completes us, go nale mathata. What will be of you when they die or leave you? And were you incomplete before they came into your life? But how?
All I am trying to say is that in as much as we want to unconditionally love people, let that unconditional love begin at home. I was actually going to talk about learning how to love after all the pain you have been through but my head has a mind of its own
With all my love
B
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